The Almighty Cleanse

"Is a clean colon the secret to better health and vitality?"

Huh?

I couldn't sleep last night, so early this morning I gave up trying and picked up the remote for a few rounds of channel surfing. As I was doing so the question before you blurted out from the screen. Knowing this was a golden opportunity for some laughs, I settled in to watch the rest of the program.

It was hilarious. You've seen the hype with certain products, Oxyclean comes to mind, now imagine trying to channel that excitement to a product designed to clean out your colon.

Exaaaactly. Now you're getting the picture.

The product they were pitching was called The Almighty Cleanse, which is hilarious in its own right. It was, and get this, a DUAL-action formula designed to improve your health and quality of life by giving a thorough cleaning to your colon.

The inventor was so into his product I couldn't help but laugh. He explained that part one of the formula is the cleaner, it gets everything out of your colon, a sort of roto-rooter if you will. The second part is the secret, it's like a "magnet" that pulls the toxins and parasites out of your system.

At that point, the host with a shocked look on his face exclamined, "Parasites! We have parasites inside of us?!" I was rolling by this point. After that they went on to describe the various parasites that could possibly be living inside the human body.

All they were missing were a few customer testimonials. That would have really put this program over the top as the inventor made it sound like your colon holds more junk than your couch cushions.

Come to think of it, that would be a pretty good sales pitch...."Did you ever swallow change as a child? Well, with the Almighty Cleanse you not only achieve better health through improved colon function, you can also make a return on your investment."

Awesome.