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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A primer for you wannabe bridge jumpers.

Fads come and go. It's part of a natural progression of life. I'm sure we all remember acid-washed jeans, grunge, saying "Wassssuuuuppp!" Oh, and let's not forget the Macarena.

One thing these all have in common though, is that they're national fads. Here in Atlanta, we seem to have another, lesser known fad, threatening to jump off of overpasses.

It's probably not as much fun to the average person out there as say, the Macarena, but it's becoming quite popular here.

Just yesterday we had another person join the trend. This lost soul climbed up onto the 10th street overpass and threatened to jump onto I-75/85 in downtown Atlanta. I was driving to see a customer around that time and got to see it.

Police were everywhere, they had the road blocked off and had a huge inflatable bag positioned beneath the jumper. As I took this in, I couldn't help but think that something was wrong with it all. So, in an attempt to help out my fellow man, I thought I would include a few tips for those considering a try at our local fad, jumping off of overpasses.

Oh, and for the record, I did not roll down the window and yell, "JUMP!" I don't know how I held off, but I really, really wanted to.

Tip #1 - When planning your bridge jump, make sure the overpass you choose is high enough to get the job done. Our incident yesterday occurred on an overpass that couldn't have been more than a 25 or 30 foot drop. This is not sufficient for dying on impact. If you're going to pick one, pick a good, high one like over Spaghetti Junction, or maybe the one in Cobb county over 75 and 285.

Tip #2 - Do it as soon as you get to the edge. In case you've violated tip #1, this will help immensely. As we all know, traffic here is busy. Cars and trucks rush through this town at speeds well over the designated limit. If the fall doesn't kill you, someone will be coming by momentarily and with any luck, it will be an 18-wheeler. Those will get the job done quicker than any car out there, plus it makes the scene a little more grisly, which is good for TV.

Tip #3 - Don't, under any circumstances, wait for the police to arrive. This never helps out. The guy yesterday waited too long and look what happened - the inflatable bag was put underneath him. In case you're an idiot (which, since you're jumping off of an overpass, you probably are) inflatable bags do not cause death, pavement does. If you want to wait for traffic to be stopped that's fine, but do it before they get the bag out there.

Tip #4 - Use those fences. In an attempt to stop all of this, the city spent millions on putting fences up on all of our overpasses. This seemed like a good idea, but the fences can be climbed over, and as un unintended consequence, also keep police from getting to the jumper when someone does. I find this pretty funny, actually. Anyway, use those things. They can't get to you, so don't worry about getting grabbed, just take a deep breath and go!

Tip #5 - Please, and I can't stress this enough, wait until traffic is light. Yesterday's jumper was pretty good about this. Morning rush hour was over and it was a long time until the evening rush. Plus, he was jumping onto northbound lanes, which were headed out of downtown. This was a nice gesture, but please, do all of us a favor, wait until around 2 or 3 in the morning when hardly anyone is out on the roads. It's just courtesy and remember, we're trying to get somewhere too.

I hope these tips come in handy for you wannabe jumpers out there. If you're going to do it, make sure you do it right.

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