Sam Schwalb's Wedding Bonanza

In an all too common theme, I attended yet another wedding this past weekend. I haven't written about it until now due to the fact that it's taken me this long to stop tearing up when I sit down in front of the keyboard.

Okay, so that last part was an outright lie, I wasn't crying, I'm just lazy.

This most recent wedding was for two people who complement each other better than any other couple in history. Better than Romeo and Juliet, Fred and Wilma, and even Ike and Tina Turner, Sam Schwalb and Kimberly Doan take it to a whole new level.

They got married Saturday in a beautiful late afternoon ceremony, which at one point had to be interrupted as a handkerchief was retrieved for the teary-eyed groom. It was interrupted a second time as Kimberly sternly whispered, "Get it together you pu**y, I'm supposed to be the one crying!" (I may or may not be embellishing at this point, you decide.)

After that it was off to the reception where our very own Vanessa Winokur paraded around carrying trays of shots, and I somehow got a 73 year-old man very drunk. I was later chastised by one of his daughters after he proclaimed that it didn't matter how much he drank, he was too old to get cirrhosis of the liver anyway. Personally, I found this hilarious and his reasoning all-too sound.

So with that, I bid adieu to Sam Schwalb and Kimberly Doan. With their vows on Saturday, they pass on to a world full of PTA meetings, soccer games and card club.

Thank God I'm not them.